Bahamian in Houston & Black in America

This August will mark my 8th year living in Houston, Texas and today, July 10th marks the 43rd independence of The Bahamas which is where I was born and raised. Coming from an island country where 90% of the population is black and being dropped into a huge pond where I was now considered a minority was a bigger change than I anticipated and this week served as a huge example of why.

Growing up, I learned about slavery, emancipation, civil rights, etc. but my teachings were never as in depth as I now realized I needed them to be. I do however know a good amount of facts about pirates. I understand they all may mostly be considered “American” history, but as a black woman in America now, I needed that education. I never experienced racism. In a country where 90% of the people are black, any racists were very few and trust me.. they didn’t dare act upon their opinions, as far as I had experienced or even heard of. If you think a KKK rally had any chance in The Bahamas, you have another thing coming. I can count on one hand how many white or Asian people I had in my classrooms all the way from 1st grade to 12th. The only Hispanic people I knew were my Spanish teachers. Diversity isn’t really a thing in the Bahamas. If you know me, you even know my mother (as well as her family) is one of the fairer skinned Bahamians. But that wasn’t something I made note of, ever. It just wasn’t a THING. She was just my mother. Or.. maybe it was a thing but I never once noticed through the entire 17+ years.

Being plucked from that environment and planted in one where I find myself being the only black person in my college classes and being the only black person at my places of work and seeing these racially profiled arrests and shootings and murders year after year after year.. I wasn’t sure what to think at first if I even thought anything at all. I knew and I know what racism is.. but I don’t understand why it’s a THING – in 2008, 2011, 2013, 2016. Why is an uncontrollable trait in our biological make up such a thing? Why are we hated simply for existing? I don’t claim perfection in my island home because it is far from it, but it is home and leaving a place where I didn’t have to think twice about the color of my skin, to a place where I could be killed for it is tough, man. I’m angry and this week I spent days at work on edge and holding back tears at my desk because I was just so overwhelmed with finally fully understanding that we are really targeted and singled out and dying.. I was afraid for myself, for my friends, my sisters, my boyfriend.. but now I’m just angry. If I or my boyfriend were to be pulled over in Nassau, Bahamas, our first thought WOULD NOT HAVE TO BE “I MAY GET KILLED FOR NOTHING”. If I get pulled over I cannot rub this melanin off. And even if I could, I wouldn’t so I’d die black as hell.. if the situation got to that. It’s just so overwhelming and at times I am incredibly broken but its reality. A reality that desperately needs reform.

I deeply appreciate my home for providing me with my mindset that is saturated in the love and comfort for the skin I’m in and despite current events, I celebrate being Bahamian and I celebrate being black. And today I love my country more now than ever for giving that to me.

Happy Independence to my beautiful Bahama land.